About Me

I am beyond vexed that the lottery has not made me a winner. I am not greedy for millions ~my needs are simple: good books, better wine, and a new vehicle.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Still On That Obama High

I like this version. Who am I kidding? I like any version.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Because I Really Am This Twisted

I want this shower curtain. Badly. But I'm fairly certain the S.O and The Minion wouldn't appreciate my sense of humor.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Improvising Joseph

I bought a Creche ( insert accent grave over the first "e" sil vous plait ) on e-Bay last year. I happened upon it ~ and it was just like the one we had when I was a child. Which my parents gave to me when I got married, and my ex-husband said he didn't know where it was when we divorced. Yeah. Right. I remember the bonfire he built. Vividly.

So I get the Creche, and it is just as I remember - a 1950's cardboard manger, Italian ceramic figures of the Virgin, the shepherd, 3 kings, barnyard animals, the infant etc. but no Joseph. I knew old Joe was missing when I bought it. And I really want a Joe that goes with Mary...so the search for the perfect Joseph continues...but until he joins us we have: Obi-Wan-Joseph. The Minion doesn't know where his hands are, but he fits in the Creche better than the Vince McMahon or Batman action figures. I was bummed Vince didn't fit.

If you click on the picture, it should enlarge in order to really see the handless glory of the pseudo-pseudo father of the Christ-child.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

How Tired Am I?

I know I have no right to bitch about a full week of work in this economy, but after being on the dole for 5 months and reading books all day I have a hard time adjusting. I know this because I just put whole coffee beans in the coffee maker. Bypassing the grinder I'd just plugged in. Fortunately my inner brain caught it before a 6am debacle.

Also, I haven't made the Minion's bed all week. I always make the beds. It drives me nuts to have unmade beds. This morning I went in to wake him up and the quilt that is third down in the layers of blankets was on the floor. How? How did he do that? Soon I know I have to teach him to make his own bed. And just try and ignore the non-hospital corners. It will be difficult.

I'm getting my hair done tomorrow. I'll be a brunette again...for at least 6 weeks until the roots show. I suppose I'll have to drag the bodybag with the tree up from the basement this weekend. Open a bottle of something and lovingly fluff the artificial branches into Christmasy goodness. Actually the tree doesn't look fake - I think I posted a picture last December. It's a damn fine fakey!

Monday, November 24, 2008


Mom and me ~ around 1971
Peter and Me

Me and Daddy ~ I'm two.

Peter, Mark, Daddy and Me! One month old

Thursday, November 20, 2008

A Talk With My Former Spouse

The Minion's father wanted him to go to Texas for Christmas. Not just for the two weeks of vacation but for a week before and after. A world of NO on that entire idea. I'll list my reasons.

My ex husband has found the Pentecostal church. Apologies to any of my 5 readers who might be born-again Pentecostals, but the ex has taken this to an extreme.
  • He believes that the Jews killed Jesus, no not the Romans, the Jews. Considering the S.O is Jewish, I take offense to that train of thought. Not to mention that the last time I picked up a story of the Crucifixion, it was centaurians weilding the mallets and nails.
  • He claims the people he is with in Texas are just like you and me, but they don't sin. Ever.
  • He cannot send me child support because he doesn't have a job. But God has taken care of all his needs - i.e, he is doing odd-jobs for the church and is receiving room and board ( sponging off them ).
  • He said he would pray for me. I said, great - please do...and also pray for that pair of winter boots for the Minion..I'll expect them on the dining room table via divine intervention by morning.
  • The only way to get to heaven is by reading the Bible and believing in Jesus. Apparently all other religions - including Catholics, but especially Jews need not apply.
  • Barack Obama is a Muslim.
  • He wants the Minion to eventually live with him because ~ and I freaking quote: " You can have more children". That is a freaky-assed statement.

When I got off the phone, the S.O suggested I just sit and have a bourbon. I thought that was an excellent suggestion. Needless to say, there are no plans for a father and son reunion anytime soon. The Minion is relieved. He is as wigged as we are about the change in his dad. And for those who are wondering, I have full legal custody. Whew.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


I love this song. Love, Love this movie. And since I've been on a Boston Legal dvd marathon, my attraction to James Spader has been renewed. He's just so....interesting. His characters are neat. And I admit to lustful ideas in his general direction. Do you think Keith Olbermann will be jealous?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Keith and Love

The man reads my mind.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I Found Where The Crazies Live

It's like watching a trainwreck...can't believe it, but can't turn away.

These are some scary folks.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

It's Like Freaking Christmas

I stole this from Catherine, but it says it all for me. I'm tired and happy and joyful and bursting with pride, hope and satisfaction.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Nervous Energy

The last time I felt like this was when I was waiting for The Minion to fly home from Oregon after his summer visit to his dad's. I stacked about a cord of wood that morning before I had to go to the airport. Of course all our wood has been stacked for a couple months. I feel a cleaning frenzy coming on. But I have errands to run after I go vote, so I will be occupied. Naturally I am down to one cigarette. I am not a chain smoker. I smoke maybe half a pack a day. Today I may morph into dearly departed old Uncle Donald - the 2 pack man. I would like to buy wine for this evening. But I work tomorrow and my tolerance level has dropped over the last few years. Normally I'd have 2 glasses. But I don't trust myself today. But the fact remains: Chemicals, I need chemicals! Sad but true.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

A Long Day

The Minion is standing to my right, talking into my ear through a paper towel roll tube quoting Monty Python's Holy Grail. "We are the Knights who say'NIE!'" Now it's "This is Sparta!" from "300". Now it's "Voldemort, Voldemort, oh Voldi, Voldemort" ( sung to 'Lollipop'). Somehow I am unaffected because I have had half a bottle of Pinot Noir ( on sale ). I started my day by not warming up the van and stripping the gears on the windshield wipers. We had snow (fuck) and melt, which means frozen blades. You would think I would remember this stuff. Oh no. I flip the wipers on. Bad juju. No wipers. Well, there were wipers, but they were flailing off the van. So then I have to meet the Oil Man at my mother's house at 8am. She'll be released from broken-leg-rehab next week. Her fuel assistance doesn't come through for a few more weeks so I have them put $200 ( i.e 60 gallons) into the tank and hope that it stays warm during the day so when she gets home she won't become statistic. So the wipers. Did I mention the vehicle needs to be inspected by...tomorrow? A local mechanic ( extremely jovial and pleasant for 8:30 am ) says: : "Well, hon, bring it on in at 10:30 and we'll get you all fixed up." And they did. And they inspected the van. Normally I would take offense at the "hon" thing...today I wanted to be a desperate-help me chick. And then I did the laundrymat thing. And then juggled what the frick else. And I remember to buy candy even though we don't get Trick or Treater's ... but you never know. So I get what we'll devour. Oh and I got a screaming headache at 9am. I took Tylenol at 1pm when I got home. Then I made brownies from scratch. Before I opened the wine. What was I thinking? My morning was Hell.

I did not cook dinner. It was "graze" night. I opened the wine. Watched Barack's 30 minutes from last evening on the computer. And I feel that I compressed my 'to-do" list into all day today. I think I need to buy wine more often.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

His Pajamas Are Blue

Sky blue in fact! Yes, Barack Obama was in my dream last night; walking around my house in his PJ's. He looked good. He also explained to The Minion why it isn't appropriate to use a SuperSoaker in the house. Michelle and the kids weren't with him. Maybe I was Michelle? Definitely not as interesting as Leigh's dream a few months ago about the photo-op with him and the large Sunday ham, but fun none-the less!

But then the fun had to end. Damn alarm clock.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Passing the Meme on...

The rules are to answer the following questions in one word ( oops, messed that up ) and then pass it on to seven others ~ so have at it oh 4 or 5 faithful readers:

Where is your cell phone? Don't have one

Where is your significant other? upstairs
Your hair color? Brown with lots of gray
Your mother? Leg Re-hab
Your father? In a lovely Danby marble urn
Your favorite thing? Books

Your dream last night? Can't remember
Your dream/goal? peace
The room you’re in? dining
Your hobby? Reading
Your fear? Heights and deep water
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Financially stable
Where were you last night? home
What you’re not? perfect
One of your wish-list items? washing machine
Where you grew up? Vermont
The last thing you did? MD appt with mother
What are you wearing? sweats
Your TV? off
Your pet? urn
Your computer? on
Your mood? weary
Missing someone? The Minion Your car? White
Something you’re not wearing? Glasses
Favorite store? I don't have one
Your summer? short
Love someone? yes
Your favorite color? Green
When is the last time you laughed? Today
Last time you cried? Yesterday

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Dark Side

I knew there were people like this. I am simply astounded though....I think I have permanent jaw-drop from watching these taken at a McCain / Palin events and at the debate.

Watch Here..but have an empty stomach cause I felt sick afterwards. They really, really believe this BULLSHIT.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I Love Keith Olbermann

I think I'd even have his children.

Thursday, October 2, 2008


Maryam is in Rwanda. Please read her latest post on one woman's story of torture and survival.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


Catherine's post at Pink Asparagus reminded me about the age 5.

The Minion's first day of Kindergarten 2002. Sniffle. His hair was so blond and fine I hated to ever cut it.

Saturday, September 20, 2008


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Friday, September 19, 2008

And Today's Bible Lesson Is.....

My ex-husband, the Minion's father is a born again, tongue speaking Pentecostal. This is just in the last 10 months. Before that he was a guy that wore leathers, drank beer ( to excess ), spent free time on internet porn sites and watched NASCAR. Of these past behaviors, I'm fairly certain he still watches the cars go around and around.

When he and the Minion speak the conversations lately have centered on church, Bible verses, and saving Minion's 11 year old soul, etc. Tonight he told our son that if he lies or disobeys his parents he will go to Hell.

I assured The Minion that although God, Allah, Buddha or whomever certainly frowns on such behavior, if the "sinner" is truly contrite and says they are sorry, forgiveness happens.

Now, how can I tell my ex-husband to cut the apocalyptic shit and keep his fire and brimstone ravings to himself. Cause it takes every ounce of self control not to speak to that man in a hostile way. Not to mention he thinks the sun shines out of the McCain / Palin ticket's ass.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Kinda makes me say..."Hmmmmm".

.....did you know that the man responsible for foisting her on America blamed that bridge and Palin's hunger for federal pork for the collapse of the infamous August 2007 I-35 bridge collapse in Minnesota?.....

Isn't this tidbit interesting?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

How do They sleep at night?

This just frosts my ass. Well, the bastard will burn in Hell someday.

A Letter To My Ex-Husband's Pastor

I'm going to nail the ex's financially stupid ass to the wall; but I thought I'd try the nice way first.

Pastor Xxx,

I am the ex-wife and mother to your parishioner Gary Xxxxxxxxx's son. I am writing to you because I want to try any avenue before taking Gary back to court in order to petition for child support. When Gary and I divorced and he was moving to Oregon I did not specify in our divorce agreement for child support. I knew what a vulnerable state he was in and was starting over in a place where he did not have employment. We verbally agreed for him to send whatever he could monetarily in order for me to provide for our child. In hindsight, I realize what a monumental mistake it was on my part not to have an order of child support included as part of the divorce agreement.

In the 3 years since our divorce I can count on one hand how often Gary has sent money in order for me to feed, clothe and care for our son. I have asked him repeatedly in the last few months for any amount he can send. He says he will; I have yet to receive a check. I know he quit his job recently. I hope he finds employment soon. However, no matter his circumstances, I will be moving ahead with legal action because my own circumstances make it necessary.

Gary needs to be responsible and as his Pastor perhaps you could find a way to point this out to him.


Xxxxx Xxxxxxx

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Morning photo from CNN

Does this remind anyone else of anything from about 60 odd years ago?
Do you think the photographer got the irony?
I think it's hysterical.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Chanting: Find a Happy Place, Find a Happy Place

Before my brain explodes.

Are these people idiots?

This is one of my favorite quotes from the article:
When a reporter asked McCain whether he thought contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV, he replied: "You've stumped me." McCain said later that he was sure he opposed government spending on contraceptives. Asked whether he would oppose condom distribution if he knew that condoms stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, McCain said he had never gotten into those issues before.

Friday, August 29, 2008

The G.O.P VP pick

A woman in politics that does not support Pro-Choice scares the bejeezus out of me.

Keep your laws off my body.

Of course this frightening development could be a gift for Obama and Biden. I sure hope so. But I'm sure she will appeal to the conservative, fundamentalist, brainwashed women that inhabit this country. Shudder.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Mr. Fluffums

We have a family of bunnies living in the field near the barn. The smallest is Mr. Fluffums. This is him all cute and sweet and huggable.

This is his evil twin. Enlarge to see the flame in his devil's eye.

Friday, July 18, 2008

New Link

I've added my girlfriend Valerie's blog to the list at right. She and her delightful husband and three charming Minions moved to the top of the state in Burlington. This is huge adjustment for me as we lived a mere mile apart and The Minion and her eldest daughter were infants together and schoolmates as well. Val is everything I am not: bold, adventurous, petite ( read: short ); but we share a twisted sense of humor, the love of good books and would spend all free time twisting the sheets with our men and eating chocolate. Maybe not in that order.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Dinner Conversation

Me: So what about The Underworld?

The S.O: I don't know much about it - haven't been there.

Me: I picked up a Scroll...but you can only access The Underworld through The Temple of the Ages.

The S.O: Don't you have to Ascend first?

The Minion: Yeah, and I'll have to fight my Doppleganger before I Ascend.

The S.O: Have you had your armor infused yet?

The Minion: Not yet.

Me: I'm not even close.

Anyone know what the Hell we are talking about?

Thursday, June 12, 2008

This made me smile

My boss just sent me this blurb:

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says... 'Oh shit....she's awake!!'

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Well...he is only 11.

The Minion was taking a shower tonight. The only part I still need to supervise is making sure all the suds are off his body and hair before the water gets turned off.

Me: Are you done?

Minon: I think so...no wait a minute.

Me: ( peeking around the showercurtain ) What are you doing?

Minion: ( lathering up the tops of his shoulders ) I'm doing my shoulders. It's on the bottle. Head and Shoulders.

Me: ( stiffling a snort of laughter ) Okay...um after that you're good to go.

History lesson

The Minion said last evening with a huge smile on his face: "I feel like the world just changed."
I told him he had just witnessed history in the making. He still can't understand why this country has only had white men as leaders when other countries have a variety of men, women, and races.

Friday, May 30, 2008


I wonder about the men ( and maybe women ) who laid each stone over 100 years ago. I wonder about the people who patched the mason work within the last 50 years.

I love our barn.

Old wasp nests and all.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Memorial Day

I love Andy Rooney.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Whoa Nelly!

All I can say is WTF? Clearly, there are people more insane than the pseudo MIL.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Not a lot going on

So far things have been fairly uneventful since leaving work. This is a nice change. The only real eye-twitching moment was having to drive out to my mother's one evening after she dropped her 7-day pill tray. The meds went rolling everywhere. There was no way she would get them back in the days and times correctly. As much as I bitch about Eldercare, I really didn't want to come into my paltry inheritance sooner than need be.

The Minion will be 11 at the end of the month. My plan is to create a letter from Hogwarts like Harry had delivered to him and tie it to his Hedwig stuffed owl. I just need parchment like paper and a calligraphy pen. Then at some point he and 5 or 6 little friends will go see either the new Indiana Jones or Narnia. We only have one theater in town which shows 2 movies. Who knows when those flicks will come through here, so he might be having his celebration sometime in June. (Zoely, he would like Finn to come, so I'll let you know when I know. )

I've been spring cleaning. The amount of dust was frightening. I did the baseboards and behind things that never get moved. I had to unclog the vac hose. Guess I should do it more than once a year.

Friday, April 18, 2008


Love this song.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Time off....not really

As I was laying in bed this morning I realized that if given the choice between stopping work for the summer or stopping the Eldercare for the summer, I'd choose to continue to work. That speaks volumes on how much I need a break from my mother and her issues. Work has morphed into an escape. As of Saturday I will be available to her whenever she needs something. In the past I have longed for the end of the ski season. For my free time. But that time is no longer mine. I desperately need to take care of myself. Being the "sandwich" generation sucks.

Saturday, April 12, 2008


The Minion made me a coffee mug in Art Class. It is his interpretation of a fish puking. With a snake crawling around it.

The S.O thought that the bumps were boobs instead of bulging fish eyeballs.
The mug doesn't leak - though it is a tad lumpy.
Oh, and the wallpaper in kitchen? It's on the ceiling too.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008


I know I bitch about the weather alot. But this week the forecast is for the 50's and perhaps ~ gasp!~ 60 degrees. And last evening when I was outside with my nicotine I heard the peepers in the pond. Not coyotes howling and snarling in the field for once, but the peepers! Hurray for froggies getting it on in chilly water!

Monday, March 31, 2008


For the 3 or possibly 4 people who read me, I have one word to say. And that word is: Eldercare. It sucks at your soul. It makes you realize that yes, payback truly is a bitch. But, the Ancient One has another new hip, is out of hip rehab and home. MD appts. are at an all time low - next one in a week and a half. I need a freaking vacation. Alone. Or with a massage therapist and a bartender.

Spring is almost sprung. My daffodils are emerging. My job is almost at an end - another three weeks; then I am free from the bonds of a time clock for 5 months. It's so nice to know that. I like ramen noodles. Which is a good thing, cause round about September the coffers are low.

Latest infatuation: The Tudors. Who knew Henry VIII could be sexy and not the gout riddled, obese, nasty specimen I learned about in history class. And me being me, and not wanting to seem like I really like the bodice tearing, forest shagging, heretic burning, deceit laden court on the small screen; I took Six Wives out of the library. Readable history. Of course since I don't have TV, I have to wait for season two to come out on DVD like 9 months from now. Beheadings for the holidays. Who could ask for anything more?

And finally. Obama. When I voted in our primary and he took VT I was so incredibly happy to have been a part of history.

Thursday, March 6, 2008


So a couple of weeks ago when we had the "warm snap", around 5am I woke due to a skittering noise. Mouse thinks I. But it sounds just a little different. The S.O heard it too, so we turn on the light. Over on the other side of the bedroom is something on the floor. Kinda hoppy. Not so mousy. But the S.O insists it is. My ass, I think, it's a freaking bat. Now don't get me wrong. I like bats. Bats are important. I like them outside. Where they belong. So, I get up to move around the bed, and it's gone. So I go downstairs, get the stove stirred up and The Minion comes downstairs. I told him what we saw in the bedroom - just so he'd be prepared. He heads into the kitchen and comes trotting back over, flies onto the couch and asks "What's that on the floor over there?!?!". Well, animal control at 6am is not part of my morning plan. Coffee, cigarette, shower. That's the plan. Not this. So over in the heap-o-shit that is the recycling pile, on the floor, crawling into the recycling is Mr. Bat. So I grab the broom and a gallon sized pickle jar ( empty from the pile ) and trap the poor little bugger . Meanwhile The Minion has high-tailed it back upstairs. The S.O is snoring away. And I am afraid to lift up the broom to try and sweep him into the jar. I have not had coffee. I have not had nicotine. I am alone with Mr. Bat, who I probably brought into the house tucked under the bark of a chunk for the stove. Deciding I can't stand there forever and hoping he is stunned, I sweep him into the jar and stick him outside hoping the 20 degree temp will slow him down. It does and I take his fuzzy little ass for a walk up into the field and leave him in a shed. So then the next week this article appears in the weekly paper. I hope our bats aren't sick too. I like the lack of mosquitoes in the summer.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Holy Crap

It's been a month since I posted anything! It's been a busy one with work, home and the Ancient One getting her 2nd new hip in the span of a year. It's been snowy and blowy - I am more than ready for mud season. So the old lady is in rehab; doing her exercises and I am juggling it all. I'm used to it by now, but the need to run far, far away is strong.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Book Quiz Result

You're Lolita! by Vladimir Nabokov. Considered by most to be depraved and immoral, you are obsessed with sex. What really tantalizes you is that which deviates from societal standards in every way, though you admit that this probably isn't the best and you're not sure what causes this desire. Nonetheless, you've done some pretty nefarious things in your life, and probably gotten caught for them. The names have been changed, but the problems are real. Please stay away from children.Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

Yes - well...I uh, can't argue with that!

Monday, January 21, 2008


I work at a ski resort. In accounting. It is minus 20 degrees with the wind chill. This morning my office has no freaking heat. I am Bob Cratchit. I sit here in my coat and scarf with a fleece vest over my legs. I need fingerless gloves - seriously. I get a discount on gear, but I really think if they want me to count the bleedin' beans today they should give me fingerless gloves.

Three Hours later.....

The boiler still isn't fixed. I have decided to get in touch with my inner Eastern European ancestry and have wrapped my woolen scarf around my head and neck. I look like a Babushka. People laugh at me when they pass. Tried plugging in the space heater, but it blew the fuse to the office and made it dark as well as cold. My boss told me that I can leave if I can't stand it any longer. She lent me her gloves ( cause she apparently doesn't have the circulation of a corpse like I do ), hard to type with full gloves. I hope the goddamn pipes freeze and they have to shut our building down.

Friday, January 4, 2008

If she asked me for advice....

I would tell her to buy a place in her home state - (is it Louisiana?).Try like Hell to stay away from everyone who is a terrible influence ~ and I think that is most of her family as well~ and simply attempt to raise her boys. Why do I even bother reading about it? Because on a mom level, I too would resist giving up my child(ren) when I wanted more time with them? Assuming that was the reason for this latest debacle. Perhaps Ms. B. might do well to see the tragic pictures of babies and children stacked like cordwood in a morgue in Kenya. It might help her put it all into perspective in order for her to get it together so she can hug her babies anytime she wants. As the old saying goes, she made her bed, now she has to lay in it.